Thinking back, as a child I had a lot of strange and quirky habits, some of which I wish I could go back and tell myself not to develop. I got attached to clothes, I would cry when my mom told me it was time to throw away my favorite T-shirt with holes in it, or even worse my leather sandals. I cried so hard about those little leather sandals that, despite their horrid smell, my family let me give them a home on our front porch where no one would have to endure their stench. That nasty habit of collecting and crying over clothes, I could have done without.
I have some habbits that still affect me today (that will not land me on a TLC hoarders episode). I walked, and still do walk, everywhere on my tip toes. My whole family has called me tippy toes ever since. I have tried so many different things to keep the heels of my feet on the ground. But alas nothing has worked so far, it looks like I will be tippy toes for good and that is okay with me.
And then there are some habits that have deeply affected how I see the world. Prayer always seemed so simple in the idea of praying for ourselves but a bit more complex in praying for others. Whoever taught me about prayer explained it a little like this.. "When you pray, you should pray for others because if you pray for them you can help them". As a five or six year old, I was overwhelmed with this idea that my prayers could change people and that other peoples happiness or wholeness could be dependent upon my prayers.
My response, was to pray for everyone in the whole world. Every time we were in the car I would sit and pray for the woman in the van next to us and for her husband and children and her children's friends and parents- hoping that these prayers would eventually effect everyone. But at such a young age this idea that I could chain prayer these people into the Kingdom and love of Christ was actually exhausting.
Eventually my car chain prayer habit ceased, but new more discrete ways to become exhausted through giving took over. Service projects. I began participating in mission trips, service projects, city clean up days.. all these things are good things. It was not the service itself that was unhealthy or in the giving to others that was not fulfilling.
It was in the taking.
I have some habbits that still affect me today (that will not land me on a TLC hoarders episode). I walked, and still do walk, everywhere on my tip toes. My whole family has called me tippy toes ever since. I have tried so many different things to keep the heels of my feet on the ground. But alas nothing has worked so far, it looks like I will be tippy toes for good and that is okay with me.
And then there are some habits that have deeply affected how I see the world. Prayer always seemed so simple in the idea of praying for ourselves but a bit more complex in praying for others. Whoever taught me about prayer explained it a little like this.. "When you pray, you should pray for others because if you pray for them you can help them". As a five or six year old, I was overwhelmed with this idea that my prayers could change people and that other peoples happiness or wholeness could be dependent upon my prayers.
My response, was to pray for everyone in the whole world. Every time we were in the car I would sit and pray for the woman in the van next to us and for her husband and children and her children's friends and parents- hoping that these prayers would eventually effect everyone. But at such a young age this idea that I could chain prayer these people into the Kingdom and love of Christ was actually exhausting.
Eventually my car chain prayer habit ceased, but new more discrete ways to become exhausted through giving took over. Service projects. I began participating in mission trips, service projects, city clean up days.. all these things are good things. It was not the service itself that was unhealthy or in the giving to others that was not fulfilling.
It was in the taking.
When I entered into these situations I offered something, a bag of canned goods, arms to lift rubble or someone to talk to. And by coming to serve for a short term, I also unintentionally offered myself in a position of perfection and authority. I had it together enough that I could come and "fix" their problems quickly; That my friends and I in the youth group could some how save the world in our giving.
There was something missing, in the taking. There was something beautiful to be had in receiving from those who had also received from you. There was something to be expressed in my action of receiving that would show our equality in humanity, our equality in the church and our equality in the eyes of Christ. And when I denied myself of receiving I denied that other person in their giving.
My prayers look a little differently now. I have realized that prayer for others is mysterious and beautiful in a lot of ways, and i will never understand it fully. I have also realized, however, that my prayers for others are just as healing for me as they are for them. I have learned, the hard way of course, that when Jesus commanded us to pray for our enemies it was not because Jesus knew what jerks they were and that they just needed a whole lot of prayer. But because Jesus knew that somewhere in praying for others, in connecting ourselves to others, their troubles and joys would also become ours. In prayer for others we could change the lives of others, but ultimately our own. We could become whole through the giving and receiving.
There was something missing, in the taking. There was something beautiful to be had in receiving from those who had also received from you. There was something to be expressed in my action of receiving that would show our equality in humanity, our equality in the church and our equality in the eyes of Christ. And when I denied myself of receiving I denied that other person in their giving.
My prayers look a little differently now. I have realized that prayer for others is mysterious and beautiful in a lot of ways, and i will never understand it fully. I have also realized, however, that my prayers for others are just as healing for me as they are for them. I have learned, the hard way of course, that when Jesus commanded us to pray for our enemies it was not because Jesus knew what jerks they were and that they just needed a whole lot of prayer. But because Jesus knew that somewhere in praying for others, in connecting ourselves to others, their troubles and joys would also become ours. In prayer for others we could change the lives of others, but ultimately our own. We could become whole through the giving and receiving.
This September I am embarking on a new journey. I am moving to Atlanta to be a part of an organization called Mission Year. Mission Year's goal is simply this: Love God, Love people and nothing else matters. I will be giving 30 hours or more each week of my time to a specific organization in Atlanta. This could be working at a homeless shelter, an elementary school or in a prison ministry- I find out my placement this summer. I will be living with the other volunteers in a house in the neighborhood we are serving in. I will be serving the city through weekly city service projects. I will serve the church by partnering with a local church and finding a place to serve. My team and I will hold a weekly dinner for our neighbors. We will also have devotion time each morning and city wide worship each weekend.
I am so excited to give of myself and serve the city of Atlanta.
I am also, so excited to receive.
I can not wait to meet my neighbors and teammates, to hear their stories and gain their wisdom. I am excited to let my teammates learn my weird and quirky habits and to also learn theirs. I am not going to Atlanta to fix anything. I am not going to Atlanta to save anyone. I am going to Atlanta to live. To live how the early apostles lived, in community giving and receiving through Christs love. I hope that you will come along side me in prayer for this next year.
This is the link to my fund-raising page and this is my personal donation code.
(12-9029) www.missionyear.org/donate/
"I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full"- Jesus
I am so excited to give of myself and serve the city of Atlanta.
I am also, so excited to receive.
I can not wait to meet my neighbors and teammates, to hear their stories and gain their wisdom. I am excited to let my teammates learn my weird and quirky habits and to also learn theirs. I am not going to Atlanta to fix anything. I am not going to Atlanta to save anyone. I am going to Atlanta to live. To live how the early apostles lived, in community giving and receiving through Christs love. I hope that you will come along side me in prayer for this next year.
This is the link to my fund-raising page and this is my personal donation code.
(12-9029) www.missionyear.org/donate/
"I have come so that you may have life and have it to the full"- Jesus
